Asher Roth's Dope Little Blazer

As silly as it sounds to someone unfamiliar with the genre, the boldest possible statement in hip-hop is never a phrase, but rather, comes in the form of a child's photograph. Because of the precedent set by Biggie and Nas, it's widely understood that dropping a debut album with a picture (or likeness) of one as a child is the ultimate demand to be taken seriously.

For this reason I am disappointed with the cover that Asher Roth and his handlers created for his debut, Asleep in the Bread Aisle. A young, white rapper that sounds remarkably similar (tonally) to Eminem, he’s been trying to identify himself as the true suburban answer to hip-hop. Now that all of the middle-class white kids that bumped Liquid Swords in their moms' Camrys have grown up, we are led to believe that a special one among them has emerged with a point of view and a mic. In his first few videos Asher has done a pretty convincing job of raging at college parties and riding a mountain bike through leafy towns.

However, I think this jokey creation myth could have been perfectly cemented if he had used a cover similar to the one I have mocked up (above, source material from laserportraits.net). No more would need to be said about his past if there was proof of a laser-background in his elementary school picture – and the preposterousness of this image on a rap album cover would quicken the bizarre dialogue about where he fits into the hip-hop cannon.

As an intriguing figure for hip-hop to have to process (given the support he's received from major industry players that otherwise have historically shown discriminating taste), he should have demanded to be taken seriously, rather than politely requested it while he stunts with Cee-lo and tries to ignore rap beefs from Spencer Pratt.

4 comments:

Modelizer said...

Thank you :) There is a lot to go through.

Oh Asher Roth, I really had some sort of hopes for him, but he kept saying stupid things like "I'm the classic Eminem" and I had to write him off. I think his handlers tried to strike a second slim shady gold mine but seemed to have luckily failed.

Unicorn Boners said...

When I saw the video for "I Love College" I finally understood the pain that white buffoonery can cause (The storied history--Blue Collar Comedy, young Republicans, etc.

I cannot now look at a ping pong ball or a keg cup, or pass a gallon of milk or liberal arts campus without experience the sour rush of shame. Not even "Stuff White People Like" can engender such self-loathing as Roth.

In short: Asher Rother is the stupidest fucking shit I have ever heard. Though that would have been an ill album cover.

ronmexicocity said...

i had the laser background and i'm from the hood. like, the ghostface "all i got is you" hood.

asher isn't the first middle class white boy to make mainstream noise in rap. he's definitely far from the first on the underground.

speaking of ghostface, he and rae might have given him an appendectomy with a spork if he went with an illmatic baby cover.

the video for i love college represents everything i hate about college life. i had to work two jobs and keep a 3.9 to stay. this mawfucka gets to... *sigh.* i'm gonna leave it alone.

thepreppyprincess said...

This one has been an education, especially on "bumping...Liquid Swords'!

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